


Sacrifice

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, None - Freeform, Pre-Slash, challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 09:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/796437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair's thoughts just before the press conference.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

## Sacrifice

by Rhiannon-Jehane

Jim and Blair belong to Pet Fly, not to me (unfortunately), and I'm not making any money off of this. No copyright infringement intended.

Thanks to Sentinel_Thurs for jump-starting my writing!

Originally posted to the Sentinel_Thurs community on LiveJournal. This was for Challenge #11, "Bravery

* * *

Deep, cleansing breaths. In. Out. In. Out. 

It's not working. Oh, man, I think I'm going to be sick. 

The notes for my speech are rustling, and when I glance at them, I realize that my hands are shaking. 

Everything I've worked for will be gone in five minutes. 

Jim thinks I've deceived him. I can't believe he thinks I could actually sell him out like that. After everything we've been through, his lack of trust feels like a kick in the stomach. I have to keep reminding myself that he works from a base of fear. He feels like I kicked him first. 

He's so much more important to me than the diss. What started out as research turned into the best friendship I've ever known. And then what little objectivity I was still clinging to went right out the window when I realized I was in love with him. 

That's another thing... Jim's not a stupid man. Nobody gives up their life's work for a _friend._ He's going to realize I'm in love with him, and I never wanted him to know. I never wanted him to be uncomfortable, or worry that I'd make a pass at him. I know he loves me like a brother, and I can live with that. 

It would be so easy to lash out at my mother for putting all this in motion, especially after I told her not to. But it's my fault, too. I was stupid and careless not to have everything password protected from the very beginning. 

But blame really doesn't matter at this point. It just has to be fixed, and it has to be fixed _right now,_ before anyone else gets hurt. Before any more damage is done. Jim's safety and privacy are more important than anything else, including my career. 

I mean, hell, it's just a book, right? 

I keep telling myself that, but in a weird sort of way, it's him, too. It just about kills me that I have to deny who and what he is. I was the one who kept pushing him to accept his abilities as the gift they are, and now I'm the one who has to stand there and tell the world it's all bullshit. That I made it up. The thought of publicly denying Jim's abilities makes me feel physically ill. It feels like I'm denying _him._

I don't know what I'm going to do after this. Rainier is going to toss me out on my ass. Major Crimes will pull my ride-along. And even if Jim forgives me, he probably won't want me living with him after he figures out that my feelings for him aren't actually brotherly. 

Deep cleansing breaths. In. Out. In. Out. 

The reporters and cameramen are getting impatient. I gather every shred of courage I have and walk quickly out to the podium before I lose my nerve. 

"Hi. Uh, thank you all for coming. I just have a short speech prepared here..." 

* * *

End Sacrifice by Rhiannon-Jehane: LadyJehane@aol.com

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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